The Visionary speaks on Family Dynamics

Written by Sue Bayley

Twice in as many days I have heard of instances where “person A does not understand person B” in a family scenario; although made of the same DNA, they are like “chalk and cheese”. Anything from mild disagreements, to wilful behaviour, to internalised damage can occur. 

So how do we support parents, carers and guardians to understand that their offspring are their own “little beings”, and may react to a scenario in a different way; and ultimately when they grow up may have very different ethics and values to those of their parents. They may have different political views, they might be more extrovert or introvert, they might be more in need of friendship, or more happy with their own company. 

One book that I often refer to in my sessions is: How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. “One of the built-in frustrations of parenthood is the daily struggle to get our children to behave in ways that are acceptable to us and to society. This can be maddening, uphill work. Part of the problem lies in the conflict of needs.The adult need is for some semblance of cleanliness, order, courtesy and routine. The children couldn’t care less.”. Adele Fabre and Elaine Mazlish

“Made from the same DNA, yet, they are like “chalk and cheese.”.”

I really believe that each intrinsic soul will find their way through their muddles, and I believe that ultimately they need to find their own way, and come to somebody who is willing to listen, when they are ready to talk, or at least willing to be witnessed.